Listen to your waiter. That is the single piece of advice that will make your dining experience, not to mention my work day, much more pleasant.
I walked up to a table with two people sitting at it today. Across from them were two extra menus and place settings. Obviously, these people were waiting for another couple.
"Hi folks! While you're waiting for your guests can I start you off with something to drink?"
"We're waiting for two more people." Yeah... of course I didn't know that. The extra place settings weren't a clue or anything. Oh, and maybe when I said "while you're waiting" it was an indication that I had acknowledged your absent companions?
Now, I realize this is a minor annoyance in the grand scheme of things, but it's also just one example of a larger issue as a waiter: no one listens.
Every single shift that I work, I have to repeat myself. I don't care about repeating myself because people didn't hear me, I care about them not paying attention. When you ask a waiter what the soups are, or what sides you can choose from, or what salad dressings are available, listen to them. If I have to repeat myself because you decided to turn and make an inane comment to your fellow diner, then I'm going to assume you're an idiot. Only an idiot ignores information that they need.
And don't just listen when you're the one ordering. Think ahead. If your meal comes with soup, and someone else at the table asks what the soup of the day is, perhaps this is a good time for you to also acquire this knowledge. There is absolutely no reason that I should have to tell each and every person at a table what dressings are available, none. My personal favorite is when someone at the table teases another diner for not listening... and then needs the dressing list repeated because they weren't listening.
You expect me to listen to what you're saying, so perhaps you should return the courtesy? I promise, if you listen to me, your meal will come out more quickly, more accurately, and with less resentment on my part.
--The Angry Waiter
"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." -Ernest Hemingway
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